BEER AND CEREAL DREAM

BEER AND CEREAL DREAM

My Mom sends me to the store. She wants me to go to the beer store and buy 24 beers. She gives me six empty bottles to return. She says to buy 24 bottles of Amstel in the Beer Store and then go to the grocery store to but some cereal. I go to the beer store first. I see cereal boxes in the beer store, on the top shelf, above the beer. I buy CAP 'N CRUNCH.

THE END

TOM JONES DREAM

TOM JONES DREAM

Tom Jones and I are walking and singing "What's New Pussycat." He tells me he is leaving in six hours. I wanted to play golf with him.

The End.

PRESIDENT WRESTLING SEX DREAM

PRESIDENT WRESTLING SEX DREAM

I am the President of a country, or a wrestling organization, I'm not sure which one. I go paranoid when I become filthy, stinkin' rich. All around me there are orgies going on in my headquarters. Outside of the apartment or headquarters or hotel, or whatever building it was, GODZILLA is destroying the city, my city. I grab my girlfriend and hide her in the closet. I also grab a skid with a pile of money on it and stick it in the closet next to the girl. I put the girl and the money behind the clothes, so if someone opens the closet and doesn't look behind the clothes, my money and the girl won't be found. A man, dressed in a disguise, wants to hide in the closet too. I am suspicious of him. I'm sure he only wants my money and my girl. He is wearing a mask of GORBECHEV. I hit him on the head repeatedly with a rubber hammer. Then, someone with a MOTHER TERESSA mask tries to get into the closet. So I hit her in the head repeatedly with a rubber hammer. The hammer makes a funny BONK sound when I hit them. The bonk sound proves they are wearing masks. Everyone in the city is fleeing from the giant monsters fighting each other. Now I am the only one left in the city, with my skid of money and 2 girls. Everyone else has evacuated. The monsters are destroying the city and buildings. I am secretly being recorded having sex with the 2 girls in my office, while the monsters smash my city to pieces. A former cabinet minister is the one secretly recording me. He wants to prove that I have gone insane, so he can oust me and take over as president. I ask one of the girls if this is one of those countries where a chocolate bar costs a hundred thousand dollars. Meanwhile, at the border of my country, thousands of wrestlers, are waiting on motorcycles to come back into my country once the monsters are gone. They are just sitting on their motorcycles, talking and drinking, until it is safe to return.

BLOB DREAM

BLOB DREAM

A white blob is devouring everything in it's path. Everyone on the city is running and screaming and fleeing in terror. Some kids and my brother and I are on bicycles. We are trying to get away and gather as many people as we can. I am double riding my brother on my bike. The rest of the kids on bikes are also doubling the people they gather to get them to safety. The blob is coming after us. It corners us at a school. Suddenly it stops. It is not moving. It is in a dormant stage. So we run away. We leave the dormant blob at the school. Later on, I see this guy that looks like an Adonis, with blond hair and huge muscles walking in the middle of the street, toward me. Behind him is the most beautiful blond woman I have ever seen. And then Jim Morrison, Joe Pesci and I figure out that the blob evolved into these two blond people, that is why it went into a dormant stage.

The End.

EVACUATION CRAB DREAM

EVACUATION CRAB DREAM 27.03.03

The city is being evacuated. I think it's Montreal. There is someone with me, I think it's a cousin of mine from Europe. As the city is being evacuated and people are scrambling to get out, I end up in the stairwell of a building. IHOR ( a former co-worker) is also in the stairwell. He escapes through a door at the top of the stairs. I end up alone in a dark basement. The basement is flooded with 2 feet of water. It is very dark down here. There are crabs and squids in the water, lots of them. They frighten me. I back up against a wall. There are crabs and squids on the walls too. They come after me. My eyes start to adjust to the darkness and I can see a bit now. And then I notice that the crabs and squids are in the air too, floating toward me.

The End.

YAN'S EASTER SURPRISE DREAM

YAN'S EASTER SURPRISE DREAM

Everyone at Faber (the warehouse I worked at) was receiving Easter Egg gifts from Yan (the guy from the shipping department). He was handing out large ostrich sized eggs with a surprise on the inside. But before he handed them out, I saw him in the cafeteria putting the surprise gifts inside the eggs. I saw him with a huge cardboard box full of little toys. The toys were half an egg with a chicken head sticking out of them. I look some more and see that not all the toys were chickens; some were Disney characters sticking out of of eggs, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto, and several other characters. I also see He-Man characters, He-Man and Skeletor. I tell Yan to put Disney characters in my egg, and a He-Man character in my brother's egg. Later on all the Faber employees gathered together and sat in a circle on the floor, like in Kinder Garden, as Yan handed out the Easter Eggs to everyone. The employees open their eggs. Everyone is getting a chicken. I watch as each person opens their egg and takes out the chicken head toy. I am starting to think that Yan put only chicken heads in the eggs and not the Disnay or He-Man toys. Yan gives me my egg, and I hope I don't get a chicken. In my head I keep repeating "Don't be chicken, don't be a chicken, don't be a chicken." Just as I am about to open my egg in my dream, I start to wake up in real life. But for a split second just before I wake up, I manage to get a very quick glimpse inside my egg. I got what I wanted! Not the chicken!

The End.

SWEAT HOG DREAM

SWEAT HOG DREAM

MR. KOTTER, from the TV show "WELCOME BACK KOTTER", goes crazy. He takes the sweat hogs hostage in the class room. He has 2 guns. Vinne Barbarino escapes the room without Kotter noticing. Barbarino makes a phone call to some girl, telling her the situation and telling her to get help. Then he sneaks back into the class before Kotter ever noticed him missing. The girl that Barbarino called, calls me at our old house in Malton. Kotter takes the Sweat Hog hostages outside. He takes them down Brandongate Drive. They are all walking in a single file line, with Kotter at the front. He keeps looking back every few seconds to make sure none of the hostages has taken off. Every single Sweat Hog walks in their own very distinctive style. I cut around Wildfern Drive and intercept them at Rhinebank Road. As soon as the line of Sweat Hog hostages passes by, I jump to the back of the line, behind Vinnie Barbarino. I tap him on the shoulder and he lets me butt-in in front of him in the line. Then I tap the next Sweat Hog on the shoulder, Juan Epstein. And he lets me butt-in in front of him. Then I tap the next guy, Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington, and he lets me butt-in in front of him. All this time there is audience laughter going on, like the canned laughter in the show. I tap Arnold Horshack on the shoulder and butt-in in front of him. Now I am the first in line, right behind Kotter. And then I tackle him from behind and knock the guns free. The Sweat Hogs all give me high fives and congratulate me for rescuing them. They also thank Vinnie for sneaking out in the first place and making the call to get me.

The End.

CARDBOARD BOX DREAM

CARDBOARD BOX DREAM

I am with a girl in Malton. I am talking to her about the script I wrote. She says she has a friend who will read it. So we go to bring it to him. But instead of taking a car, we get into a cardboard box; a big cardboard box, like the kind an oven or a fridge comes in. We sit cross legged in the box, with the open end facing out, not above us. Then we start bouncing on our butts, like the TRANSCENDENTAL BOUNCING that DOUG HENNING did. The girl and I synchronize our bouncing so that the box moves a bit each time we bounce. We bounce along like this on the side of the street as cars pass by us. It is raining. We get to a stop sign. We stop. Then she sees a cop car coming, and she gets nervous and panics. We bounce away onto a side street, Rockhill Drive, and then cut through the creek. The opened end of the box is in the front, facing the direction we are bouncing, so we can see where we are going. We end up next to the Mini Mart. She says, "Why didn't you tell me there was a cop coming?" I tell her, "I didn't see him." I don't know why she is so freaked out about the cop, we didn't do anything wrong. In this dream, box bouncing is a normal mode of transportation, like riding a bike. And then she tells me "'DOUBLE' box bouncing is illegal."

The End.

HART FOUNDATION vs. THE UNDERTAKER DREAM

Another dream about pro wrestlers;

HART FOUNDATION vs. THE UNDERTAKER DREAM

BRET "THE HITMAN" HART, OWEN HART, and I are riding in a van. Owen is driving. We take a different route than the one we were supposed to take, because Owen has to pick up a package at some house. We get to the house. An old lady answers the door. It was actually PAUL BEARER in disguise as an old woman. He had a scarf over his head so we couldn't tell it was really him. Bret, Owen and I go in the house.
She (Paul Bearer) leads us down the stairs, into the basement. It's dark. It's a trap! THE UNDERTAKER is down here in the basement! He looks like he did when he first came into wrestling, with the shorter curly red hair. He slowly stalks toward us. We run up the stairs and the Undertaker slowly, follows us. He walks slowly, with his arms out, like Frankenstein's monster. He makes the same moaning noises as Frankenstein's monster.
We run out of the house and jump into the van. Owen starts the engine. The Undertaker is only a few steps away from the van, walking with his arms outstretched. The van takes off. I look out the back window of the van, and I see the Undertaker walking after us on the road. We leave him far behind as Owen speeds off. We get lost. We can't find our way back to our original route. Owen thinks we need to turn left.

The End.

FISHING LURES DREAM

FISHING LURES DREAM

We lived back in Malton, where I grew up. I'm at the park. I notice a fishing lure on the ground, on the grass, so I pick it up. I see another lure a few feet away, so I pick that one up too. Then I see more lures on the ground. I look around and notice there are hundreds of lures in the grass. I pick up all the lures I can. But there are so many, that I can't carry them all. Then I see a girl and her boyfriend laying on the hill. I don't want them to take any of the lures, so I try to act inconspicuous as I bend over and discretely pick up the lures. I get a fishing tackle box and put the lures in the tackle box. But there are too many to lures to fit in the box. So I take one of each different kind of lure. That way I have all the different kinds.

The End.

SHEEP DREAM

SHEEP DREAM

I am riding a bicycle. The bike is floating, about a foot or two up off the ground. I'm going down a narrow path, through tall grass or wheat. But since I am floating, I am above the grass. I jump over a small fence, the fence is only about a foot high. Over the fence is a farm, a sheep farm. The sheep are cartoon sheep, big white cotton balls with really thin black stick legs. I was riding my floating bike over the sheep. And then three of the sheep turn around and look up at me. They have the human heads of my family!

The End.

GREEN ANOLE DREAM

GREEN ANOLE DREAM

I had a glass tank with 5 green anoles in it. The tank was in the basement. I was moving it upstairs. I put the Anoles in a bag, all 5 of them. Then I noticed many more anoles in the tank. Anoles can change from green to brown; the other anoles in the tank were on a piece of wood and they were brown. There were several dozen more anoles in the tank. So I scooped them up in the bag also. I discovered that I could control them. They would do whatever I wanted them to do. They obeyed my will. I didn't even have to give any verbal commands or orders, they just knew what I wanted them to do. I kept one of them on my shoulder all the time. He didn't go anywhere, he just stayed on my shoulder. I went to my cousins' house, Sonia and Monica, and showed them the anole on my shoulder. And then something kept hitting me in the back, bumping me. It was a giant fly! It was about 2 feet long.

The End.

BABY ELEPHANT DREAM

BABY ELEPHANT DREAM

I was with someone at a bus stop. There were a bunch of women with their babies waiting for the bus. It was a hot day. The women were sitting on the ground. One of the babies was HUGE! He must have been over 100 pounds, very fat. There are 2 kids teasing this poor woman and her fat baby. They are teasing her very maliciously, it is down right abusive. I try to stop the first teasing kid, but he gets away. I catch the second kid before he runs across the street into a house. I think it was the house across the street from our old house in Malton.

And then I find out that the fat baby, is not the poor lady's baby at all; it's her pet baby elephant. In this dream elephant babies look exactly like human babies, except they weigh 10 times as much and are much fatter. As they grow, they develop a trunk, big ears, thick skin and a tail, and eventually grow into a normal elephant; but they start out looking like baby humans at birth.

The End.

JURASSIC PARK DREAM

JURASSIC PARK DREAM

JEFF GOLDBLUM as Dr. Ian Malcolm, SAM NEILL as Dr. Alan Grant, and I; are in Jurassic Park. The park and the island are complete, it has been turned into a health spa. After the three of us finish working out, we hit the showers. There seems to be no one around, only the three of us. I look around the locker room and I notice little lizard like dinosaurs hanging on the shower curtains and on the lockers. Something's not right. They are not supposed to be in here, and where did everyone on the island go? Dr. Grant takes off in leap to find out what is going on. Later on in the dream, as we search for survivors, I see my friend Mathew walking his dog, Arthur, in the park. And then a big T-Rex grabs Arthur and bites his legs off. Then the T-Rex tosses Arthur in a river. My dog, Spike, jumps in the river to save Arthur, but Spike can't swim and he starts drowning. Arthur, missing his two back legs, grabs Spike with his teeth and swims to shore. We go to the side of the river to get the dogs. And then a giant amoeba thing attacks us.

The End.

CHICKEN LADY DREAM

CHICKEN LADY DREAM

Three East Indian kids are walking with their mother. Two of them are identical twins. All three kids are very sick and throwing up. Their mother is evil. I ask them if they are okay. They explain to me that their mother did this to them, it was their mother that made them sick. The third kid, the non twin, explains to me they spent all their money, and that they deserve this punishment for spending all the money. I grab the mother. She is not human. She is a little bird or a chicken, with the head of a human, a normal sized human head on a little chicken body. I grab her in one hand and whip her against the curb. She splats. But as I threw her, her beak cuts my hand. And then the kids tell me she had poison in her beak.

The End.

FLYING CARPET AND SPIKE DREAM

I had this dream back when I had a dog, named SPIKE. I also used to have a cat named CURLY too. Curly died long before I had this dream.


FLYING CARPET AND SPIKE DREAM

My dog, Spike, dies or goes missing. We have no more pets. So I buy another dog, another German Shepherd, a puppy. I also buy another cat, just like my old cat, CURLY. The new CURLY and the new SPIKE play with each other. I discover that the new SPIKE is a female. Somehow I find out that my brother and the real SPIKE are missing, but they are alive somewhere. So I take a flying carpet and the new spike, to go searching for them. Most of the time, I am on the flying carpet by myself, while the female puppy Spike is running on the ground. We go all the way around the Earth, to Australia. I see a beach with a lot of people in swim suits. I see the lady with short hair, the one that lives down the street from us and is married to the bus driver. They say something to me as I fly by on the carpet. I haven't mastered the carpet yet, so I guide it with both hands and hang on to it like monkey bars. And then I encounter a friendly kangaroo in Australia. The kangaroo pisses on my new dog.

The End.

SMALL CAR DREAM

SMALL CAR DREAM 10/22/96

I am riding my bike up Barondale Street and a tiny red car zooms along the sidewalk. It looks like a remote control car, but I don't see anyone controlling it. We are both riding on the sidewalk, heading toward each other. The remote control car skids to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. I make a sudden turn to avoid with my bike. And then another little red car pulls up. I am about to jump over it with my bike, and then the head of an old lady pops out of the sun roof of the car. Her head is the size of a normal person, but the car is a tiny thing. The head sticking out of the car is bigger than the car itself! She could not possibly fit in the car, and that's not including her body. Shocked to see the old lady's head pop out of the sun roof, I forget to jump over her or swerve my bike out of her way. I crash into the old lady car. The car is sent spinning. I say sorry and ask the old ladies how they do that trick. How do they make it look like they are inside a tiny car? Is it with mirrors? Or a remote control? More cars show up. One of the old ladies and a young man tell me that are really in these tiny cars, it's no illusion. The old lady tells me to watch her and she will show me how she fits inside the little car. She drives into the grassy field beside the sidewalk, I follow her on my bike. By the time I catch up to her, she is already out of the car. She is a normal sizes old lady, standing next to a tiny car. Then she shows me how she does it. She shows me how she collapses her bones and her internal organs to squeeze into the car. She says she learned this in Africa. She massages the back of her neck and then collapses her spine. Then her ribs fold in, and one by one, all her bones and internal organs fold up like a tent. She tightly folds herself and packs her body into the car. And then it catches on and everyone is doing this.

The End.

ALIEN TAXI DREAM

ALIEN TAXI DREAM

Three Aliens were talking to my brother. They were all identical, thin bodies, five feet tall, big bald heads, two antennae on their heads, and they were all a grey/green color. They needed a job. And then they became taxi drivers, and the taxi was the same grey/green color as they were.

The End.

MANNEQUIN HEAD DREAM

MANNEQUIN HEAD DREAM

I'm in a shopping mall. I see a beautiful girl, so I follow her. She is NANA VISITOR. Everyone else in the mall stops moving, as if they were frozen in time, except for NANA and myself, and a third person. The third person is a mannequin. NANA starts running after the mannequin and chasing her. So I run after both of them. The chase leads to an escalator. I am half way up the escalator, I look down and the escalator and I see a mannequin head rolling up the escalator! It is defying gravity and rolling up toward me. When it gets close to me, I kick it back down the escalator. But I can't kick it very far, and it rolls back up toward me. I kick it down a few times but it keeps coming back. I try to pick it up, but it is impossible to lift, it is immovable and weighs a ton. I reach the top of the escalator and I am pushing the head, trying to prevent it from rolling to the top of the escalator. I turn around and the mannequin lady is right behind me, at the top of the escalator! And then her eye balls pop out of her head and her tongue sticks out really long and her whole face does this crazy Beetlejuise kind of take.

The End.

HULK MUGS DREAM

HULK MUGS DREAM

My family moved to a new neighborhood. It looked like the old apartment in Rexdale (that is where we lived when I was 1-5 years old.) I asked my brother if there was a comic store somewhere. There is, at a strip mall across the street. I look out the window of the apartment to the mall across the street. The place is totally deserted, I don't see anybody outside.
I go outside to the strip mall. I am the only person outside, it is like a ghost town. The stores are all closed. I go up to the comic store door, it's a glass door so I can look inside the store. The inside of the store was very narrow. The store was not any bigger than the width of the door. The store is filled with coffee mugs, nothing but coffee mugs, all HULK mugs, hundreds of them. There were only 2 kinds of HULK mugs; there were black mugs with a picture of THE INCREDIBLE HULK on them, and white mugs with a picture of THE HULK'S face on them.
I turn my head away from peering in the store. I go to look in another comic shop at the other end of the strip mall. As soon as I take half a step away from the HULK mug store, the place is full of people. There are suddenly people everywhere, on the street, in the stores, on the side walks. The narrow comic store is packed with people. They can barely squeeze into the store because it is only the width of the door and the walls are stocked with shelves full of HULK mugs. All the people are buying HULK mugs.

The End.

WRESTLING DREAM

I guess I watch way too much wrestling, because , too often, it seems wrestlers appear in my dreams. This dream had dozens of wrestlers in it. The picture below shows the 3 main characters, not including myself; STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, RAVEN, VAN HAMMER.



WRESLTING DREAM

I climbed a huge tree and made it to the first branch, the branch closest to the ground. It was about 6 feet up off the ground. I stood on the thick branch. On the ground, a lady was tossing cardboard boxes up to me. The cardboard boxes belonged to STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. I was catching the boxes she tossed up and placed them on the branches, up in the tree. I noticed that the Stone Cold boxes were very light. So I threw them back down, so that I could put the heavier boxes on the branches first, then I could put the lighter Stone Cold boxes on top of the heavier boxes. STEVE AUSTIN came by as I was throwing his boxes on the ground, and it really pissed him off. Later on, I ended up at the creek; the creek by the catwalk in Malton, (Malton is a small town where I grew up.) I was with RAVEN, and the two of us were friends. A bunch of other wrestlers were coming at us from every direction to fight us. There was a huge rumble. I couldn't find RAVEN, he got lost in rumble. And then VAN HAMMER helped me beat everyone up and we searched for RAVEN.


The End.

SOCCER DREAM

I had this dream back when I was about 23 or 24 years old. I coached girls soccer that summer, girls ages 19 to 29. I had a high school reunion coming up, even though we were only 5 years out of high school. I was working at a place called Faber Castell back then.

SOCCER DREAM

The guys from my high school reunion and the guys from Faber were having a soccer game. Jasmine, from my soccer team, showed up with three other girls. They were playing soccer, but instead of a soccer ball, they were using a tennis ball. And then the ball turned into spagetti. But the spagetti was alive, and crawling around.

The End.

DIAN PARKINSON PLAYBOY DREAM

Here's a dream I had back in 1991, the day after I saw Dian on the cover of a Playboy magazine at the book store.

DIAN PARKINSON PLAYBOY DREAM

Dian is giving an autograph session for her playboy magazine cover. There are a few people there and some security guys standing around. I want to get her autograph. But Dian is not on the ground, she is up in the clouds. In order to get her autograph you need to ride a conveyor belt all the way up to the clouds. The conveyor is very narrow, more narrow than my shoulder width. I lay down on the conveyor as the security guys strap me to it, so I don't fall off. They start up the conveyor, I begin to rise. It's like the beginning of a roller coaster ride. It's a bumpy ride and thin straps are not tight enough. It's hard to keep my balance. It feels like I could tip over the side and fall to the ground. At one point I look down, I am so high up now that I can hardly see the people on the ground. I finally get to the top. I quickly get off the conveyor before I fall off. I step into the room at the top of the conveyor. In the room, there are tables and desks, with stacks of Dian's Playboy issues. Dian is in here with the other Price Is Right girls. I approach her and she grabs a magazine and signs it. She's obviously happy that someone had the guts to go all the way up on that conveyor just to meet her. I was the only person that risked it. She was about to kiss me. I see a close up of her lips, about to kiss me....

...then I wake up. Darn!

I tried to go back to sleep to kiss her, but I couldn't fall asleep again. Double Darn!

BATMAN AND FRIENDS DREAM

Here's another dream I had, with a very interesting cast of characters.

BATMAN AND FRIENDS DREAM

I am Batman. My sidekick is Jordie from Star Trek. Sid Vicious, the wrestler, is there too. We are in a laboratory. There is a dead murder victim laying on a metal table. Jordie uses visor to examine the victim. He notices traces of the murderer. There are clues on the body that only Jordie can see with visor. I get suspicious of Sid. I think Sid was the murderer. I fight with Sid. And then The Six Million Dollar Man crashes through the brick wall beside us. A fight breaks out between Sid and the Six Million Dollar Man.

The End.

HONEY BUN DREAM

This is a dream I had back in the early 90’s. I was working in a warehouse called Faber Castell at the time. There was a coffee truck that would come to the warehouse every lunch time. One of my favorite things to get from the truck was something called a HONEY BUN.

HONEY BUN DREAM

My boss at Faber Castell orders me to go out into the parking lot to clean the cars of all the employees. Instead of car wax, I was rubbing the cars with the sugary glaze from a honey bun. I would hold the plastic wrapper of the honey bun inside out, so that the sugary glaze was on the outside of the wrap and smear it all over everyone’s car. I don’t know if I ate the honey buns first or just tossed them out and used the glazed wrapper. I was out in the parking lot the whole day, 8 hours, waxing the sugary honey bun glaze on the cars. At the end of the work day the employees were standing outside in the parking lot, waiting for me to finish glazing their cars so they could go home. My parents and my brother came to pick me up in our families’ car; and there I was rubbing honey bun glaze all over the other employees’ cars. My Dad leaned out the window of the car and said to me “We have to get some of that for our car.”

Then I woke up.

The End.