HOMO MILK coincidence

HOMO MILK coincidence

I was with my girlfriend in the grocery store one day, in the dairy section. My girlfriend is getting a carton of milk. I am standing a few feet away from her. I tell her to “Make sure you get the 2 percent not the HOMO MILK.” She looks at me like I’m crazy. “What?!” she exclaims. I say it again, “2 percent, not homo.” She gives me a look that can only be described as complete shock and disbelief. I say it again, this time louder and slower, “2 percent, not homo.” She tells me to keep it down, someone might hear me. This confused me, hear what? I was getting a bit annoyed myself. “Not the homo milk!” I said again. My girlfriend looks around wildly, afraid that someone heard me. She tries to shut me up.

Let me explain the confusion. Nefta, my Girlfriend is American, from New York. I am Canadian. Back when I was a kid, growing up in Canada, we didn’t have all the different kinds of milk like they have these days. There was no such thing as Soy Milk, Non Dairy Milk, Lactose Free Milk, 1 Percent, Almond Milk, Tahini Milk, Lactaid, VitaSoy. Back then we had only 2 choices; 2 percent and HOMOGENIZED milk, which everybody called homo milk for short. This was 30 years ago, never did it dawn on me or anyone else at the time that we could be referring to anything other than milk. This was before the politically correct era, and before gay people were coming out of their closets. Ask any one my age who grew up in Canada, and they will verify that it was indeed referred to as homo milk by kids and Moms and Dads everywhere.

Back to the coincidence. So I explain all this to my girlfriend after we leave the store. She, of course, doesn’t believe me. It was weird enough for her to see that we sell milk in bags, but that is a story for another day. She thinks I was making up the whole thing up about Homogenized milk being called homo milk.

THE VERY NEXT DAY; I come back from a day of work at the studio, and this is what she tells me as soon as I get home; She was watching TV, and there was a commercial. In the commercial there is an old guy in front of the TV. The old lady is going out for groceries and asks the old guy if he needs anything. He replies “HOMO MILK, not 2 percent.” Nefta literally fell off the bed when he said that. I guess she’ll think twice next time before doubting me.